V's Version

Mental Snapshots of Our Wedding Reception

I was hoping to get pictures of our glorious wedding reception up on the internet before now but it’s been tricky to actually find photographs. Our young photographer didn’t show up (sadly) so we are counting on those who had cameras to help us out.

In the meantime, I had this idea that I could describe the snapshots that I have in my own memory of the event. It’s OK if you don’t know the person I am describing – just see them as the beautiful souls that they are – sharing in a labor of love.

The first snapshot is actually of the back of Jennifer’s blonde head. She was moving too fast to get a posed picture. She was setting up tables with us the night before the party. Behind her, rolled out on the floor, is the banner that she made: It’s All About the Love. Later that would go above the front doors of the church along with a 24- foot sparkling red metallic garland. .

Then there is the image of the church sanctuary transformed. The long tables arched in a semi circle to face the beautiful natural wood upright piano and a wee platform stage decorated with hearts and gold records across the front. The tables themselves are covered with off white tablecloths and shimmering red fabrics from my quilting stash. The centerpieces are a collage of gold painted recycled vinyl albums, lichen covered branches harvested from the redwoods, red and white candles of varying heights, gold and red shiny and frosted balls and tiny thin strands of gold tinsel. Sprinkled on the table are hearts cut from Dutch Boy paint chips in all the reds and pinks I could find in the hardware store. There are paint-chip hearts hanging from ribbons on each of the 14 20-foot windows that overlook the forest.

We flash to a zany restaurant in the redwoods where the wait staff jumps on stage at random moments to bump, grind or put swords on their heads while belly dancing. Jennifer is blushing at the raunchy lyrics and we are all glad that Pk is at a friend’s house watching a movie.

The next morning, Parker is the model of a gentleman as he greets Dani coming in from the store with arms full of ice. He has a white napkin folded over his left arm as he bows and says, “Welcome. Won’t you please come in to join us for pancakes? We have an array of syrups to choose from.”


A candid of Po in her blue flannel shirt. She and Terri flew in from Indiana the night before and have arrived for pancakes and a morning walk in the redwoods. Except that it is raining so hard that it seems silly to even step outdoors. (Not that rain deters determined women.)

The next picture is of Terri covering her fragrant leather jacket with my impromptu raingear as she walks off to see the giant sequoias for the first time.

An image of two chipper faces in the doorway: Julie and Jaiya have come to socialize and help set up. At the time of this hug we would have NO IDEA of the power of this dynamic duo.

We flash to the kitchen at the church where the dynamic duo has joined forces with the very epitome of efficiency and experience: Terri Lynn and Erin are on the scene and bring years of git-it-done attitude to the whirlwind of plates and platters and clinking coffee cups.

Nina shows up with Thai spring rolls and peanut sauce and her daughter Ace trailing behind.

I am smiling at Dandypants who found a vintage Valentine song as Dani, Jennifer and I set up the larger than life projected slideshow of Team Go-Go and handmade Valentine art.

The snapshots of people and moments are happening faster than I can take them in so here they are in no particular order – like a stack of magic Harry Potter- style moving photographs that have been splayed out on the carpet for everyone to enjoy:

A purple and orange skull airbrushed onto Parker’s arm as he jumps around the crowded sanctuary.

Later, a flaming pie on his back and bullet holes on his chest.

Clay (the airbrush artist) is surrounded on all sides by Ace, Mia, Joe, Hannah, Cameron, Teagan, Ashlee, Anastasia, Hannah, Tamara, Ted and Marley. The overhang outside where they stand is the overflow area because there aren’t enough seats for everyone.

V and Matt hugging in the doorway – can it be true that he is getting ready for collage?

And Ezra – who now is so tall that he has to bend down to me to give a hug -is there because he wants to be there – not because Marijka insisted.. Having the teenagers attend our reception is so deeply meaningful to me.

Having Pete and Hap leave the Cactus Jungle for the day is deeply meaningful to Dani. It is no small thing to ask of a couple of entrepreneurs.

In fact – anyone who came over those winding roads of Highway 17 deserves a special place in our hearts. To say nothing of the ones who flew in just for the day!

Nikki is resplendent in her brilliant Chinese red silk jacket – looking pregnant only by the glow of her face.

Tim, Heather and Hannah slip in the queue for cake – they tell me that I am the bride so I can cut in line.

Gwyneve and Sander – smiling and always next to each other.

Parker's Big Brother, Larry, says "I haven't actually seen Parker."

Jess from Lansing (but really from Indiana now) has a smile wider than a Chicago gangster’s tie. She meets with the other Hoosiers while Dandy tries to organize the missing track names for the dance music.

Hilda and Carly are in a race around the crowded room to see who can fill up their mingle bingo card first.

Lora Lee (the President of our church) walks up to Lisa, Lia, Maryasha and Hannah with her bingo card. “Do any of you drive a big rig? No? Well – have any of you been to the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival?” We all laugh. Lisa (who has produced it for 32 years) quietly says “I can sign that.”

Ron and Dick come in with April. Oh, April. She is always so perfectly dressed and this afternoon is no different – she is wearing warm chocolate brown pants and a soft petal pink blouse with a matching beaded necklace. She is smiling and probably very glad to be in off those terrible stormy mountain roads.

Ron takes most of the photographs we have to mark the event.

Terra is there telling us news of Scott’s mother.

And Judy! Another cancer fighter with the guts of an artist who knows what it’s like to fly without a net.

Woody gets the whole crowd laughing when he sings the Keep Santa Cruz Weird song “and did I mention that we really really really don’t like war?”

Iran is telling Dani that we HAVE to cut the cake. Do not mess with an Iranian grandmother of legions – even if she is tiny.

Jenny is there and she brought Timmy and Teddy and her mother in law Corrine. Jenny has been my off-again-on-again oncologist throughout this battle with cancer. Her children are as different as kids from the same parents can be and I am pleased to see them all.

Linda is leaning over to tell me that it’s Melissa’s birthday today and that she is thinking of me.

Edy is dancing. So is Helen. As are Jamie, Suse, Eileen, Jan and Deanna. ]The chartreuse of Eve’s silk jacket is the perfect compliment to Brook’s hot pink bridesmaid gear. The dance floor is a riot of color.

Meg and Amy - so kind -– waiting until after all the sound hullabaloo to tell us about the special early spring flower they have planted. We can hardly wait to watch their garden grow this year!

I plunk a chair down in front of Brett and Johanna. Because she has been my friend since the eighth grade in Portland, Maine, I want to stop time so that everyone in the room freezes and we can talk, slowly sipping the delicious punch made from mango and orange and sparkling ginger ale. But time does not stop.

Cassie and Angela look proudly upon Nedra like a couple of Aunties watching a recital.

Nedra – on stage – tuning her guitar and saying that I am willful – and she means that in the most divine way….


Nedra – on stage – tuning her guitar and saying that I am willful – and she means that in the most divine way…. And then her songs - what a treat to hear them live - as I sat with my head nuzzled on Dani's shoulder.

Dani and I are Prince Charming and Cinderella sitting at the ball on Carol’s just-vacated piano bench to watch with fascination a quiet boy named Dale - all dressed in black- turn into a hunk, a hunk of burning love before our very eyes.

Karen and Bruce apologizing for not being able to be there for the whole party.

Dani is feeding me cake while people flash pictures of us. I am feeding Dani cake – only her piece is bigger. We are both feeding Parker cake. It is the only cake we will eat at the party.

A flash of Stephen’s handsome face bending down to touch the top of Sharon’s mane– of Nora with his camera – of Alison waiting for cake and Fred and Eve taking off their jackets – of Bill laughing near the stage

Doug and Kara show up with an entire flower shop of crimson roses, Gerber daisies and early spring blooms of pinks and reds. They also bring frosted heart covered sprinkled cupcakes and Tory too!

I look out the window to see Keenan and Xander (who have never met) foraging in the damp forest for beautiful mushrooms. Pamela is eating cake.

Jennifer is serving cake and telling me we need more forks.

Jane is in the kitchen but has to get back to Dave who stayed home.

Lee – or was it Lorraine? – told me I looked radiant.

I feel radiant but also like I want to be in a hundred places at once. And I want to hear more of Carol’s lovely piano solos instead of loud and unfamiliar music. Where is my playlist?

It’s a good thing that Dani tried the tamales before the party because she is certainly too busy during the party to eat. I hide a piece of tiramisu on the windowsill for later. I hide a vegan chocolate one too but it gets lost.

The Parker clan is dressed for the formal and I could not have asked for better fashion. Aaron and Ivan’s suits are crisp and sharp and Clare looks like a modern day princess at the prom. Brandon wears a red Hawaiian shirt and at one point he shouts “Hey! I made that music” as magic twinkles from the speakers.

Dani and I dance to Allison Krauss with the other lovebirds and then all of us get down to Staying Alive with Parker and his friends. When did disco turn to break dancing?

Darby and Laura (who were present for my first date with Dani) remind me that Darby accidentally walked me into Pete and Hap’s cactus back when I was blind. I laugh to remember (how could I have forgotten?!)

Joey is stunning in her perfectly cut dress and model gorgeous lips: “You told me to bring Bryan! So here’s Bryan!” Sweet Bryan. I cannot believe that they drove over the mountains in this rain. Even if they got to do a Boardwalk photo shoot – it still seems crazy. I cannot express my gratitude for the pouring of love from my friends.

Lee and Kevin and Samantha look like they just walked out of a Valentines window display at Macy’s. They are dressed in brilliant reds – handsome and beautiful and laughing. What an incredibly generous trio they are.

Sylvia in the kitchen – teaching people how to organize the dishes from left to right. Thank heavens. And Serena – she is a four and half foot streak of lightning as she zips the plates and forks in to be washed and put back out again.

Patricia is the only one to show up from Dani’s office. She brought Marcus and – bless them – they don’t know anyone. Not even mingle bingo helps them I am afraid.

The Blumes in a cluster – they are all here! What a lovely surprise!

And Thomas with his partner and her daughter whom we had never met.

Lynn’s daughter Adrian has grown three feet since last I saw her .

Dani’s friend Christina is standing with a really pretty girlfriend and Shelia’s friends make us laugh several times. It’s fun to be at a party where I don’t know some of the people – and there are lots of lesbians!

“Where did you hide them all?” asked Krystal who could only look but not touch now that she and Patrick are a solid item.

I wonder if anyone is trying to solve the trivia questions of love song lyrics and famous quotes that we set upon the table? The thought flies in and quickly out of my head.

My nurse Mary shows up later in the party and all I notice is her smile and that she looks lovely and not nurse-like at all in her party dress!

Curtis hauls in late too - literally just coming in off the road from Shreveport, Louisiana with his niece and his emptied caravan truck in tow. We are able to donate a lot of money from wedding gifts to his Follow Your Heart Action Network in hopes of being able to help the effort of rebuilding the beleaguered south.

Barbara also comes late on the scene but makes up for it by handing us a bright colorful “bouquet” of her floral photography. The clean-up is in full swing by then so we will have to wait until later to enjoy them.

Mary Bailey saying ‘Well – I guess I missed most of it..” But it’s not her fault – loud music and the threat of driving in the rain sent most people home pretty early. It’s all going by so quickly!

Devi mingling brightly throughout the party even after her son Brian and his friend arrive, They kindly wait until things wind down and then take Parker for a sleepover.

When the clean up crew is eating pizza in the kitchen, a homeless woman walks in. I invite her to have some and she takes us up on the offer but only stays for a little while.

I cry only once. Poor Heron. She and Karima (just back the day before from Poland where she said goodbye to her beloved grandmother) are so gracious. But I just can’t hold back the sob when I think of Heron’s kindness to Dani.

Later, Dani would tell me that she broke down and cried once too.. Poor Heron.

As we stand on the stage, chanting Nam Myho Renge Kyo with so many people that we love, how I wish we had a picture of you all. We are the rich beauty of all colors, all ages, all sizes, all genders, all sexual orientations. And if it weren’t for the generous acts – both big and small – of so many of you in this crowded candlelit room (and so many who could not make it) we never would be together. Dani and I both know it. And as we stand here looking at the sea of love and smiles – we each want to stop and individually thank the people who have made our relationship possible. You know who you are.

If I missed a picture of you - or if you want to share the mental images that you saw - drop me a line.

Labels: lesbian wedding friends gratitude unitarian universalist valentines party reception