V's Version

Play that funky music, white boy! Pk is celebrating the completion of cleaning his room with a bit of Wild Cherry disco.

It is so difficult to remain patient in the face of pressure to coerce / shame / insist that Pk clean his room. I truly believe that self-motivated habits are more empowering, a better experience overall and ultimately the best path to long lasting life lessons learned. (Not that it was easy to see how chaotic it had become. I said more than once that I was not comfortable being in his room.)

Yeah - sure - I could pull rank and say "Clean it - because I said so." I wouldn't like that. He wouldn't like that. It would be reason to chaffe and rail and for what? A construct of power? No way.

So this morning, he said, "Mama? When I am done doing my laundry - would you be willing to help me clean my room?" I said (without fanfare), "Sure."

I sat in his room and kept the music flowing, offered ideas on how to organize and break down the overwhelming task of "cleaning" and generally encouraged him to keep going. He is proud and happy. Dani is relieved. I (battling the headache) kind of want a nap.


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Labels: attachment parenting communicating children lesbian family non violent unconditional love reward, cancer writing positive poetry family nonviolent communication NVC