V's Version

That's what I want to know. I am getting ready to work on a T-shirt quilt (over 200 feminist T-Shirts! A collection started in the 70s!!) and I am doing some research. I usually research the heck out my quilts - to inform myself, learn about new cultures, give myself springboards for my own creativity. I am inspired by and influenced by many artists although my style is definitely my own.

Having never made an all-out T Shirt quilt - I wanted to see what other people were doing so I looked. Bad move - very depressing. In looking at what is available, there are a plethora of sites that offer "one-of-a-kind" quilts. And they ALL look like these quilts. Every one of them. Yeah - OK - so some of them are blue and some of them have "cornerstones" and some of them are exclusively Newport Folk Festival T Shirts. But they are all square and, frankly, I am bored.

What is the point of one-of-a-kind if it looks like 1000 other one-of-a-kind?

Obviously, ease is a factor. It would be easy to cut everything into a square. I have done this myself when in a rush - or working with 30 kids under the age of 10. Sometimes squares are necessary. But I really hope that when I get the box(es) of T Shirts in the mail, that I will be inspired to make something truly one of a kind. I am not satisfied to live inside the box.

Labels: T Shirt Quilt Different NOT SQUARE one of a kind memory scissors art outside of the box lesbian

Stealth and Style for the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival: Yesterday I found a box full of Fest flyers and glossy postcards hot off the presses and on my doorstep. This morning I dressed in a perfectly polyester aqua blue mini dress with white go-go boots and put the box on the front seat of my car to head out for a little adventure!

I went to several local coffee houses in a 30 mile radius, music stores, bookstores, the LGBT center, the local gay bar, the alternative grocery stores and my favorite tattoo parlor. I was mostly able to get the required signatures and permissions and had to be creative in how to move around all the rest of the flyers so as to get the best exposure. I am sure it was quite a sight to see me standing with my go-go boots on the baby high chair to get that prime open spot at the top of the community board!

In one store (that shall remain nameless) I had to resort to stealthy tactics because their posting policy was too restrictive. I'm not sure if I was brilliant or bad but I took the little glossy postcards and stood over by the magazine rack, pretending to be browsing. I inserted the postcards one at a time into many copies of magazines (that shall remain nameless) with a likely feminist, young, dyke, womon and/or creative readership. It seemed like the perfect way to get the word out to a specific audience. It was probably not ethically correct since people have to pay to advertise in those magazines (and CERTAINLY not condoned by anyone official at festival) but ? What is a girl to do? My heart is in the right place.

I LOVE the idea of each of us who know and love festival dressing in a favorite outfit and going out to spread the word. Take a moment right now and contact the office to request your own little box of glossy goodness - or print some up on your computer if you just can't wait. Go have an adventure - you never know whose life you might change!


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Labels: Michigan Womyn's Music Festival WWTMC feminist women dyke fun journey adventure creative go-go boots

It is a rare day when I can focus on our planet and my place in it for any extended period of time. Usually I am immersed in a quilt project (or on the website) and then I race around in my Cinderella housecleaning outfit and then I put on my Carpooler Chauffeur cap and then I take turns breathing deeply and speaking with forced calmness during hour after hour of homework. I make time to wear lingerie and gardening gloves (not usually at the same time!)

But I don't often get to sit - as a citizen - to listen to the really hard stuff that needs to be heard. Dani sent me Al Gore's opening statement about the climate crisis to Congress and it's 30 minutes long, for heaven's sake. Listening intently and with respect takes a kind of focus that is uncommon in this fast-paced go-go world (unless you are a political junkie with time on their hands - which I am not).

Al Gore says that 516,000 people emailed him in the last few days. He brought the stack of emails and my email was in that pile and I felt part of it. So I watched and I listened. He said that our son Pk is going to grow up and ask us one of either two questions:

1. "WHAT were you thinking, Mama and Dani?" (by not taking dramatic and direct action to stop the climate crisis)

or

2."How did you find the uncommon moral courage to rise above...and do what some said was impossible?"

I cringed thinking of Pk asking the first question and in my vision of that conversation I got defensive. "Hey! I tried! I kept asking you to bring your sandwich bags home so we could re-use them! I carpooled. I made you use cloth napkins at dinner- remember? We recycled, remember? And how about when I insisted that we couldn't drive all the way back down to Santa Cruz just so that you could get your forgotten backpack...."
What the heck am I doing?

Am I blaming his generation for believing the advertisers? Am I blaming them for my own complacency?

I appreciate more than I can ever say that Al Gore put forth *solutions*! He gave specific, realistic, comprehensive solutions. Now I have to go tell my representatives that I want them to back the solutions that regulate cars, coal and buildings. Let's ban inefficient incandescent light bulbs on a huge scale. Let's use our resources wisely. Let's shake *ourselves* out of complacency so that we don't have to answer that first question from the next generation.

Labels: citizen action global climate crisis mother children future solution Al Gore

Yesterday I saw a wonderful YouTube called Fat Rant and it reminded me that I want to know when the NoLose conference will be because I want to go. (NoLose is a volunteer-run organization dedicated to ending the oppression of fat people and creating vibrant fat queer culture.) NoLose led me to the Big Fat Blog which is just chock full of information for straight and gay men and women that I don't at this moment have time to read entirely but I loved what I read so I subscribed. One of the questions was why did I want to subscribe (they have to weed out the diet companies etc.) and I said:

I want the connection and it's time to get involved again with fat activism again. The horror of what happens on my own son's school playground (where it is supposed to be a liberal we love all kinds place), the incredible sadness I feel when hearing yet another beautiful woman berating her beautiful body, the tragic reality of the daily battles I witness in one of my teenage friends (who is fat) and the unrelenting messages in the media (even though I do not own a TV or subscribe to any fat-hating zines) is getting to be too much to just stand by and witness. After a 4 year battle with cancer I have a bit more energy to give. I am a fat chick no longer in a fat chick's body which is weird and I think I have a unique perspective as a fat positive person who lost weight but didn't want to. Luckily my curves are back in some form but I am no longer super sized enough to be "fat enough" to be discriminated against. I must be a more public part of the solution.

So I will blog it and I will talk it and I will live it. The average American woman is a size 16 - NOT a size 4 - Tell everyone you know that they are beautiful JUST THE WAY they are. The media would have us believe otherwise and they are using us - WE are LETTING them use us - through fear and insecurity. They get our weight-loss program dollars, our fashion insecurity dollars, our diet-industry grocery dollars, our unnecessary medical procedure dollars, our very souls. I want us all to be healthy. I myself am learning how to cook (thanks Dani) and am enjoying my walks with the dogs. But it is not to lose weight or to exercise for sake of losing weight. It is to enjoy the quality of life in the body I have.

And it's not just women - they are POISONING our children. I hear it from Pk who is so concerned (at the age of 9!!!) that he have a six pack set of ab muscles that I am concerned for his health. The kids at school who are not the thinnest are pointed out and labeled as fat and by fat they don't mean big and beautiful. They mean wrong, lazy, slow, nonathletic, ugly, different, an outsider, a blob.... The new school nutrition policy was put in place with all good intentions but without any body-awareness - without any size discrimination education. It's fine to offer fruit sweetened bran muffins and fresh fruit to the kids but it's NOT fine to allow the daily constant barrage of anti-fat hatred to continue!

I do not own a scale, I do not own a television, I do not diet, I REFUSE to hate myself for my curves and lumps and dimples and rolls. I eat balanced meals along with my beloved treats and I love walking in the fresh air. What a different world this would be if we all did the same.

Labels: fat activism body acceptance children teens nutrition anti diet big beautiful women men

I am a Unitarian Universalist. I don't often talk about my religion but it informs my life in so many ways. I have been blessed to work with youth for over a decade in my church and, as is so often the case in my volunteer experience, it's a winning situation for all of us. I learn so much about life, about individuals, about connection. It truly is an honor to be able to interact with adolescents.

Recently, I have been working one on one with a teenager in what we UU s call the Coming of Age Program. Among many other activities, we have been discussing our personal credos. You see, Unitarian Universalists have no creed as an organization. The closest thing we have are the Principles and Purposes – but these do not answer life’s big questions – where do I come from? Where do I go when I die? What is my authority? Why am I here? The Nicene Creed dominates most of western religions (God, Jesus, Bible...) but it does not resonate AT ALL with me. I think often of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s assertion:

“A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.”

That is so true – whether it be a god or money or sex or pop culture or laughter or nature or depression – what we focus on determines the direction of our lives.

So. Because I don’t ask a teenager to do something that I have not or will not do myself, I wrote my credo. Here it is and if you have one of your own, I would love to hear it.

I have come from the river of energy of All That Is. I am a part of All That Is and I believe that I personally am here to love, to nurture and to create. To be whole I must connect with others and make this world a better place than it was when I was born into it. If there is a heaven or a hell, as such, it is what we create here and now. We, as humans, have an approximately equal chance (variations in existence and limitations mental and physical) to handle difficult situations. Divinity is intrinsic in all living beings and is something that we share. I take my authority from a mixture of experience and reason with moments of faith. When I die I will return to the river of energy from whence the molecules that make me up came and I do not know if there will be any part of what makes “me” consciously “me” left after my heart and brain stop functioning. I like to think of my mother, who died in 1993, as being able to see her grandson and that she somehow helps us through difficult situations but, really, I have the gut feeling that those are just comforting thoughts and my brain’s way of coping – which is OK. I believe that we humans are the only living creatures that we know of who question our existence and are able to effect change in the ways that we can. Those abilities come with responsibility and this is what informs the way I live.

Labels: Unitarian Universalist creed credo Emerson Purpose Lesbian Coming of Age Teen Adolescent love life death

Dear V,
I found your wedding video on Youtube as I was looking up Will Ferrell mocking on Phantom of the Opera. I do not know what the link there is. But I do know that I was looking for something to free my mind and lighten my heart with laughter. Instead I found you and Alotoflife.com.
And what a profound gift it was for me to explore your site and watch videos of your quilts, read your stories, and really feel the love and love of life which emanates from your being. Even over the internet. Wowie.
I have a 16 yr old daughter who was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in 2004. After a successful limbsalvage surgery and 10mos of aggressive chemo she enjoyed remission of 15 months. She relapsed in June of 2006 with tumors in her lungs. After several trials of phase 1, 2, and clinical, we have decided upon surgery. Tomorrow in fact. We are blessed enough to have her in the hands of the chief of thoracic surgery at Robert Wood Johnson in New Brunswick, NJ. I trust that all will go well. Though she is not as matured yet, her spirit is similar to yours. She has not let this get in her way for a minute and gives back to others where ever she can. I am grateful for each day with her (mostly because it is either so so fun or so so lifechangingly profound). There is a new light in my life because of her cancer.
Anyway.....soliciting prayers is what I'll do now.
And thank you for being you and adding the V to our uniVerse.
I mean it.
I am happy to have come across your writings. (And quilts.....wowie!!)
Much love and joy to you and yours.
Michelle B.
aka......Caiti's mom......Cait the Great, that is....
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Labels: cancer survivor fight battle girl power hope light faith osteosarcoma lymphoma fun story happy

Hillary accepted the invitation to speak at one of the largest GBLT organizations in our country. Did you hear? Where was Barak Obama? Where was John Edwards? I vote. In every single election I vote. And I will not forget that she showed up. Hillary says that she wants us to "understand and respect one another..... Change laws and change hearts....All Americans in committed relationships should have equal benefits..." It's a very good place to start.

A perfect weekend!

We had the most lovely time! I did all of my favorite things!!

I was able to be in the studio making art (I am working on a piece called "Portrait of a Lesbian Family" - I hope it will be the first in a series and that other families will want thier own in the series because I love, love, LOVE this quilt.)

We had quality family time together with lots of laughing.

We went to a women's Buddhist meeting where we all chanted Nam Myoho Renge Kyo (even Parker and we all noticed the feeling of the vibration and how strong it was.)

We ate delicious food and saved enough for leftovers.

I helped to build a Habitat for Humanity house and had a GREAT time with the teens from church. I had no idea how many doors there are in a new home!!!

Parker went to a sleepover birthday party and Dani and I had a sextacular date that spanned into the next day!

We went to church and spent more time with people we like - hearing stories of caring for elders and joking with the teenagers.

We gardened in the glorious early spring sun - putting in snap dragons, violas and pansies. We did spring cleaning of pruning blackberry brambles and dead vines, filled up the bird feeders and placed our statues in places of honor. The image of the Celtic Goddess Korrigan by the reflecting pool is eye level, Freya the welded winged woman (by Pamela Dueweke) is on a redwood stump in the center of our heart shaped rock garden. Artemis - brought from Greece by my father - stands among the tips of the tulips that have poked up from the earth. Diana (carved into an amber polka dotted sea shell from Italy) is in the pot with the lemon tree and Brigid (a graffitti airbrushed piece by Clay Chollar) guards the firewood on the porch. Quan Yin will remain indoors for a little while longer. She will eventually end up by the lavender when the days get longer.

Dani and Parker worked on a the science fair project after he was done playing with his friend here in the neighborhood and now he is in the bath while the dogs knaw on bones happily and I take a moment to write.

It's been just perfect. Lovely. Family, freinds, good deeds, gardening, sex and grilled asparagus. It really doesn't get better than this.

Labels: lesbian family life quilt nichren buddhism Unitarian Universalist Habitat for Humanity goddess art gardening

A Love Note to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival (155 days to go...)

Dearest Michfest -

You are the most long-lasting love of my life.

You are my long distance lover, my annual affair, my magical muse.

I made a promise to you that night. Do you remember? It was post fest 89. The moon was the only witness to our vows. The workers were burning the wooden parts of the ramps that couldn't be used again in a huge bonfire (wasn't it at Daystage?) Your tradition offered me a chance to throw a piece in for all of the women who couldn't be with you that year. I threw in pieces for my mother who was so sick, for my baby that I had just buried, for my friends back home who had no idea about you. I promised to return to your womb every year for the rest of my life if there was any way possible. The world needs us to be reborn through you. I knew it then when I was a young woman and I know it now in my 40s even more. And you promised to always be a safe home.

I realize that I am not perfect and that I agonized over certain years - missing you like missing my very own skin. But I have returned most years, haven't I? I have been attentive and loyal, consistant and caring.

Non-monogomy is so easy with you! I want to share you with as many women as possible. I want to raise all the babies with you. I want to watch us all grow old together.

I dream of you more often than I dream of anything or anyone else. You are the one I picture when I need an anchor to keep me sane. You are the one who belives in my art and nurtures my talents in every way. You have taught me all I know of how to be good, to do good, to KNOW goodness.

Your music rings in my ears - jazzy vocals and whispering winds - early morning bird calls and late night love noises...You are the hope and rage and striving of a nation - a nation of women with wings.

I count the days until we can be together again - and you know as well as I do that this year will be painful. You will say good bye to our love child who will leave the boy tribe. We have raised him together since he was an infant and I think we have done a fine job of showing him powerful women who build an Eden strong enough to change the world.

I know you will miss him and the way he runs into your long grass arms every year - not even waiting for the shuttle to gas up again...You will miss the way he climbs your trees and laughs into the stars...the way he stomps into your puddles and throws the sand into the air, making clouds of dust like fireworks.

We have this one last time as a full family. Let's make it memorable, OK? How about a shooting star? Or a brilliant thunder storm (where no one gets hit by lightening, OK?) How about some fire flies or - like last year - a flock of dragonflies? How about a blue racer or another family of mice in the cubbies?

You'll know what to do - you always do.

It'll be perfect.

Until I roll up your dusty roads that are the annual benchmark for my life...all my love and more..

V