Sunday, June 29, 2008
Condolences for the family of beloved Michigan Womyn's Music Festival worker Kyeong Kim (security/communications crew) can be sent here. She died in Ohio this spring and was buried in Korea with her family of origin. Her Michfest family is just finding out now because a notice was sent back to festival as "deceased". No other information is known to me at this time but amidst my grief at the death of such a young and vibrant woman, I am reminded to keep in touch with the people I know and love. Kyeong will be missed by so many people- including myself. We had many a laugh together. What a spirit she had!Labels: Kyeong Hei Kim Michfest Michigan Womyn's Music Festival Worker Community obituary condolences death
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Can I tell you how excited I am that my movie is up?!
Enjoy!
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Monday, June 23, 2008
I will have more amateur photos and snapshots from our guests when film is developed and other digital images are sent to us.
Dani and I are so grateful for the volunteer efforts of everyone on this day. Rev. Nancy Palmer Jones brought us to tears when she so genuinely shared our celebratory enthusiasm and heartfelt joy by honoring both our love and the historical importance of the day.
Dianne Saichek's musical tailoring adding the lyrical touch that matched the grand surroundings of the church. Members of the First Unitarian Church of San Jose joined the long tradition of Unitarian Universalists (who are always on the front lines of civil rights struggles) and said that it was their privilege to have a part in this moment of social justice history. We were are deeply touched by every special detail offered us- from phone calls and preparations to balloons and flowers to music and dish washing. It truly did seem as if we shared our love with so many people in addition to our closest friends and family in attendance.
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Sunday, June 22, 2008
Yup - our neck of the woods is hot.(<---FYI Dokken is a hair band)
Reuters News says:
"Firefighters are working to contain some 400 wildfires burning across northern California as the state baked in an early summer heatwave (triple-digit temperatures) that has strained the power grid and left residents wilted.
Most of the hundreds of fires scattered across Northern California were started by dry lightning strikes during thunder storms that moved across the state on Friday.
In a 24-hour period beginning on Friday (local time), some 5,000 to 6,000 dry lightning strikes were recorded across the region, leaving crews scrambling to keep up with spot fires."
Pk was camping this weekend and saw all the lighting over the lake. He said it was awesome! He is VERY disappointed that there will likely be no 4th of July fireworks here in Santa Cruz county due to the fire situation. I believe the direct quote is, "That stinks!"
Health Update:
Thank goodness you were not holding your breath for word on my breathing because news is not coming so quickly. The good part - it's not cancer and it's almost positively not PNP because the latest CT showed improvement in the masses in my lungs. This means bacterial infection. Breathing is not super easy (even without the heat!) and I probably have a sinus infection too. On to the Ear, Nose Throat doc & then to the Pulmonary specialist because this is beyond Oncology.
Next in line is my port. A portacath is a device inserted in my body (under the skin) through which medicine, etc. can travel in a tube into my central line and directly to my heart. It is used for the easy delivery of chemo and caffeine (just kidding!) IVIG and saline and antibiotics, etc. You may remember that a port infection nearly did me in back in '04. That one was removed. Well - as it turns out - the body can sometimes try to deal with foreign bodies by wrapping them in tissue. Sound festive? Maybe. But it's bad news for me. There are temporary fixes (TPA and sheath stripping for you cancer geeks out there) but I am not a good candidate for these things.After a fluoroscopy on Friday, it looks like this second port will have to be removed. (Oh joy - oh rapture - o happy surgery!)
I will definitely request interventional radiologist Dr. Juan Rodriguez at Dominican Hospital because I so appreciate his style - and his honesty. He is the one who did not send the lung needle biopsy to Johns Hopkins but it was because there was no order written for it. (All is forgiven. Stuff happens in war and cancer, ya know? I can't get too worked up about it.)
I will be left with two super knarly scars and no contact-lens-case-looking-thingy in my chest. A third portacath can wait because I have enough asymmetrical drama with my piercings (more on that later) and even though my veins are shot - maybe I won't need to have any medicine through IV. How is THAT for optimism?
Stay tuned - more will be surely revealed!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Trabing Fire Ummm. Not to be apocalyptic but - there is another fire. This photo was taken from West Cliff Dr. in Santa Cruz. This shot shows where I lived for 6 years at Seacliff in Aptos and in near the plume of smoke on the left is the Aptos UU church (which has been evacuated). Somewhere just to the right of the plume is where I lived and almost died in 2004 - the house that P & the church owned in Freedom. Many homes are burnt.
It is not contained at all = 0% and yet every fire truck and helicopter are in use.
It was 106 degrees (without the fire) when I was at the hospital today (more on that later) and the winds were fierce. I could see the plumes. I cannot even imagine what it must be like for the people trying to fight the blaze and save the 1000s of people, homes and animals in the area.
They think - and this is preliminary - that the fires were set intentionally by a motorist on Highway 1 (which is now a traffic nightmare and closed.)
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008
This, my friends, are lives lived well.
Lesbian couple wedded at SF City Hall / Women had been together for five decades
Del Martin was born Dorothy Taliaferro in San Francisco. She was salutatorian of her class, the first to graduate from George Washington High School. She was educated at the University of California at Berkeley and at San Francisco State College, where she studied journalism, and she has a D.A. from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. She was married for four years to James Martin, whose name she retained after their divorce. She has one daughter, Kendra Mon.
Phyllis Lyon was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She holds a degree in journalism from the University of California at Berkeley, earned in 1946. During the 1940s, she worked as a reporter for the Chico Enterprise-Record, and during the 1950s, she worked as part of the editorial staff of two Seattle magazines.
Marriage
Martin and Lyon met in Seattle in 1950 when they began working for the same magazine. They became lovers in 1952 and entered into a formal partnership in 1953 when they moved to San Francisco together although unable to legally marry. Many years later, Lyon and Martin recalled how they learned to live together in 1953. "We really only had problems our first year together. Del would leave her shoes in the middle of the room, and I'd throw them out the window," said Lyon, to which Martin responded, "You'd have an argument with me and try to storm out the door. I had to teach you to fight back."
On February 12, 2004, Martin and Lyon were issued a marriage license by the City of San Francisco after mayor Gavin Newson ordered that marriage licenses be given to same-sex couples who requested them. Photo here. The license, along with those of several thousand other same-sex couples were voided by the CA Supreme Court on August 12, 2004.
"Del is 83 years old and I am 79. After being together for more than 50 years, it is a terrible blow to have the rights and protections of marriage taken away from us. At our age, we do not have the luxury of time."
—Phyllis Lyon
However, they were married again yesterday, after the CA Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage legal. Once again they were the first couple married in San Francisco, in fact the only couple married that day by the mayor.
Note from me:
Even with this legal CA wedding, in the almost certain event that one of them should die before the other, the widow will NOT be eligible for the social security benefits of the deceased like a heterosexual widow would be because the federal government still discriminates. Thanks a lot.
Del and Phyllis' Activism
Daughters of Bilitis
In 1955 , Martin and Lyon and six other lesbian women formed the Daughters of Bilitis, the first major lesbian organization in the United States. Lyon was the first editor of DOB's newsletter, The Ladder (Magazine), beginning in 1956 . Martin took over editorship of the newsletter from 1960 to 1962, and was then replaced by other editors until the newsletter ended its connection with the DOB in 1970.
Within five years of its origin, the Daughters of Bilitis had chapters around the country, including Chicago, New York, New Orleans, San Diego, Los Angeles, Detroit, Denver, Cleveland and Philadelphia. . There were 500 subscribers to "The Ladder," but far more readers, as copies were circulated among women who were reluctant to put their names to a subscription list.
Lyon and Martin remained leaders of the DOB until the late 1960s, when they were replaced by women who were perceived as more radical and who had different goals for the organization. The Daughters of Bilitis disbanded not long after Martin and Lyon's leadership ended.
National Organization for Women
Martin and Lyon have been active in the National Organization for Women (NOW) since 1967. Del Martin was the first openly lesbian woman elected to NOW. Lyon and Martin worked to combat the homophobia they perceived in NOW, and encouraged the National Board of Directors of NOW's 1971 resolution that lesbian issues were feminist issues.
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Monday, June 16, 2008
The following is in response to fellow feminist Wendy McElroy's stunning anarchical call to get people to stop voting ("Act Responsibly: Don't vote!") Without getting into all of it - let me put one tiny piece of legislation in perspective. Marriage Equality 101
Dani and I are among those who will be making history tomorrow. Below is an (abbreviated) time line of events that have brought us here.
As a personal aside (this is my blog after all), let me say that I realize many people believe that marriage is an institution that should be dismantled. Perhaps that is true. I say, if you don't want to get married - then don't do it. If you want to dismantle the system - by all means - go ahead! But don't just sit around and do nothing! Don't quit voting - don't wait for a better system to just come around. Until the day when systems stand in place that protect LGBTQ people and all women and children - equal legal rights and child protection under the marriage system can help and should be afforded to all equally under the law. Who was it that said, "There is a big difference between having to break down a door and walking right through it."
My former partner and I were unofficially married, using all the legal work-arounds at our disposal in 1991, at a time when the women in "Lesbian Connection" earnestly asked, "Why are you imitating the patriarchy that oppresses us?"
Thirteen years later - just months before the CA Domestic Partnership had any clout - the marriage dissolved and I was denied any equal treatment afforded to a heterosexual married woman in the same position. To say that it was morally and financially devastating would be an understatement. No woman - no child - no man - should ever have to be in that position.
Marriage equality is about love - but it is also about real people and civil rights. It is about the freedom to enjoy or to deny the rights and responsibilities of legal partnership. It is about the protection of children and the end of systematic legal discrimination. Thanks for taking a moment to educate yourself - it affects us all. And, for my sake if not for your own - please vote.
Love, V
TIME LINE OF MARRIAGE EQUALITY
June 1, 1942
Skinner v. Oklahoma
The court says that depriving someone of the right to procreate or the right to marry is unconstitutional, and that marriage is "one of the basic civil rights".
October 1, 1948
"the essence of the right to marry is
the right to join in marriage with the person of one's choice".
June 12, 1967
The Loving v. Virginia decision ends race discrimination in marriage by making it illegal to restrict interracial couples from marrying in the United States. The court also reaffirms marriage as a civil right by saying, "The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men."
May 18, 1971
In the United States, individual lesbian and gay couples attempt to gain marriage equality ad hoc in the 1970s, when isolated couples apply for marriage licenses and occasionally follow up with lawsuits. These early lawsuits are roundly rejected. People, like myself, get married anyway in private and spiritual ceremonies. Members of the clergy take risks.
September 21, 1996
U.S. Congress passes a federal so-called "Defense of Marriage Act" (DOMA) defining marriage in federal law as a union of one man and one woman. DOMA allows individual states to legalize gay and lesbian marriages, but says the federal government would not recognize such unions, nor must states opposed to them. This discriminatory piece of legislation also allows states to refuse to honor lawful gay and lesbian marriages performed in another state.
February 12, 2004
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom orders the issuance of marriage licenses to same-sex couples, saying state statutes purporting to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples violate the California Constitution's mandate of equal protection. Within days, more than 2,000 same-sex couples receive marriage licenses and are married. The California Supreme Court later invalidated those marriages as unauthorized by state law. A legal challenge is filed.
September 6, 2005
California's Legislature becomes the first in the United States to pass a bill ending the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage. "There are a handful of issues where history will record where we were. This is one of them," said Thomas J. Umberg (D-Anaheim).
September 29, 2005
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoes the landmark bill that would have given same-sex couples in the nation's largest state the right to marry.
October 5, 2006
The California case to end marriage discrimination is sent to the state Supreme Court.
May 15, 2008
In Re: Marriage Cases, California’s highest court determines that "limiting the designation of marriage to a union 'between a man and a woman' is unconstitutional and must be stricken from the statute, and that the remaining statutory language must be understood as making the designation of marriage available both to opposite-sex and same-sex couples." At the same time, an anti-marriage initiative which qualified for the November 2008 ballot is proposing to take away equality and fairness in California and write marriage discrimination into the state constitution.
June 16, 2008
At 5pm, marriage equality goes into effect in California and same-sex couples can receive marriage licenses from the state of California.
June 17, 2008
In what will be their third marriage celebration (but the first legal one), V Kingsley and Dani Hope will be married at the First Unitarian Church of San Jose at 6 PM.
November 2008
Conservative petitioners were able to collect enough signatures to put an initiative on the ballot that would over turn the CA Supreme Court ruling. This November, Californians will vote on a statewide initiative that would ban marriage for gay and lesbian couples in California. The initiative would amend the California constitution to only recognize marriages "between a man and a woman."Vow to Vote No on the Ban this November.
Please vote if you live here or personally write to every person you know in California who usually doesn't vote & ask them - just this once - to please vote no on the ban. It really does matter - whether you choose to marry or not.
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008
There is ( WAS ) a wild fire 8 miles from our house.New Photos Here.
Update 6/15
The fire is 95% contained & no more houses are in danger.
Update 6/12 bed time
Update 6/12 afternoon
The fire is 5% contained - over 700 acres burned. I can hear the firetrucks and helicopters still this morning. 1000 residences are threatened. We saw many elderly people at the high school gym & I'm on my way down to see what I can do to help because the winds seem to be headed away from us so we are safe.
The fire is 0% contained - over 300 acres are ablaze - the helicopters and planes have stopped for the night and hundreds of fire fighters are fighting it on the ground. 100+ homes are currently threatened. One is a long-time friend of ours. Dani and I are volunteering through the Red Cross to take care of evacuated animals (and their families).
Dani says that it will be topigraphically difficult for it to get to us - the fire would have to jump a ridge and the wind is blowing toward the sea and the UCSC campus at the moment - away from us. I am going to pack up my important papers, diaries and photo albums just in case. Over 50 acres have burned and they hope to contain it by 1000 acres. There are mandatory evacuations up the hill from us and people have been racing up our hill with horse trailers and trucks. Evacuees are being sent to SLV Middle & High School which is a mile or so away from us. That's good news, I guess. Why would they evacuate people to a place they expected to burn?
V
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Labels: martin fire santa cruz UCSC Bonny Doon empire grade SLV High middle felton pet evacuate
Monday, June 09, 2008
Imagine these two women in 102 degree heat.I received a chain letter from a friend who told me in all capital letters to pray for our troops and that the weather was predicted to be 122 / 111 this week. Here was my response:
What a coincidence! I am not for chain letters and would not ever consider forwarding this but the immediacy of the weather report caught my eye. All I read was the weather report. As my family was gathered in the living room already, I requested that we take a moment to think of the soldiers and chant the Nichiren Buddhist chant of nam myoho renge kyo (which is what Dani has been chanting daily for 20 years.) We chanted for a moment and then, in silence, thought of all the people in that weather and sent our very best wishes for getting through it.
It was only after we chanted that I saw that this chain letter had both a Christian-style prayer and the Daimoku chant of NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO x 3 at the bottom of the page. Being that Nichiren Buddhism is not that common, it was odd to see. Funny how things are sometimes.
Being the skeptic of chain letters that I am, I checked the weather report for Baghdad. Not that it is much better but it is not 122 degrees Fahrenheit but 102 - with a low of 78, not 111.
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Labels: soldier iraq heat chain letter nichiren buddhism nam myoho renge kyo
Friday, June 06, 2008
(this time legally)
UPDATE:
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Thanks to Chung San "Nicole" Choi who designed the cocktail dress out of recycled seat belts (shown above).
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Labels: seatbelt safety fashion
Monday, June 02, 2008
Sometimes I write for you. Sometimes I write for me. Sometimes I write because I don't know what else to do. This is all of those.
Health update:
Holding pattern. My eyes and tongue continue to flare and fluctuate - a process of extreme pain and relief that I live every day. I suppose you can imagine how distracting it is to have constant pain and disruption in your eye sight. And I probably don't need to go into too much detail to describe what it feels like to have open sores on my tongue. Eating and seeing are so basic. And yet I do not have the luxury of taking them for granted for one single waking minute.
As for breathing - it is the same thing. I cannot easily walk a set of stairs and I get winded even by pushing Pk on a swing or transplanting a cala lily. Luckily, I have plenty of energy and will so I look totally normal - I laugh and talk plenty and I get almost everything done that needs to get done. But I can hear myself breathe and Dani ends up doing a lot of the heavy stuff. Usually no one knows that I suffer except me. Why bother talking about it?
I am still dealing with a sinus infection & coughing up gunk from my lungs. The chest CT scan is FINALLY ordered correctly for next week. Why it took 2 months to set up is beyond me. And now we are facing the fact that it might not be covered by my new insurance. In fact, we are facing that I may no longer be eligible for private insurance at all. I'll add my name to the growing list in this country. But I digress.
I spent a socially pleasant and physically painful couple of days at the Boston Foundation for Sight where Dr. Johns fit and refit me for a new sclera lens in order to counteract the problem of the lens impinging on hot red inflamed tissue in my eye socket. Gosh they try hard there and gosh it hurts. I think it's worked out now. For the moment at least.
I wish the physical trials of my life were the hardest but they are not. They are a side bar - a distraction. They pull my focus away from the important things both in my own home and in our world.
First, my thoughts on global issues:
On my mind are the election process (turn to this site for the best unbiased interactive election coverage), the thwarted humanitarian efforts in China and the rising waters in Kivalina, Alaska. The news is distressing. Even so, I have the unparalleled good fortune to be able to tune it out when I need a "break" from the global distress. I turn off the radio. I disregard the headlines. I turn my thoughts elsewhere for a day or two - even a week or two. Mexico and Rhode Island were good for a media get-away. We had practically no internet or newspapers - no radio - no television (not that I watch it anywhere.) The only thing that really freaked me out on a personal/global level was the outrageous and glaring gap between our unparalleled luxurious accommodations in Mexico and the abject poverty and low wages of the people who served us at Ceiba del Mar. Every one of the smiling, helpful people who catered to our every whim were making $4 (US) a day in a country with very high prices on the basic staples of life. I do not know how rich people with a servant staff can sleep at night. I guess we are karmically balanced due to our excessive tipping and poor Dani's suffering with Montezuma's Revenge. But still - I am both grateful for the experience and haunted by it.
Now my thoughts on home life:
The real "lost at sea" feeling that I have is from parenting. I am over my head. I am at a total loss. I am not in any way confident how to navigate these waters and am not at all sure where I should turn for help.
Did you even know that "sexting" is a word?!
I thought I was ready for the gradual shift in my mother / son relationship. I thought that we would walk calmly into the teen years where Pk would begin to differentiate and become a more independent being and Dani and I would prepare for the empty nest. I've been a teen leader for years. I love teenagers. I thought I was ready for this emotionally turbulent and hormone-laden time of life. I have no interest in keeping Pk my little boy. I WANT him to grow up into a responsible young man. But I am wholly unprepared for the technology intrusion that accelerates - no - propels an 11 year old into the early onset of very adult issues.
I could take the technology away. I could. And I may. But I know from personal and observed experience that taking it away does not solve the problem. The information is out there. At a friend's house. At the library. Cell phones and You Tube and Google are miraculous and positive innovations in so many ways. But they are a source of woe for me as well.
I am deeply, profoundly sad at my very core. And scared. I have no idea what stance I am to take, how to do my job effectively. How do I set a moral compass in this haywire world? And should I even try? How did I - a pro-sex feminist - an attachment parenting mother - a champion of teen rights - how did I end up here? I am raising someone that I do not know and to whom, frankly, I cannot relate.
Much like my physical pain and completely unlike world politics, I cannot tune this feeling out.
Thanks to LucasArts and Ron Gilbert, Tim Schafer and Dave Grossman for the above image featured in
the Monkey Arts video game which Pk is not allowed to play.
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