V's Version

Maybe she just caught me at a vulnerable moment (considering recent events). Maybe I am just up to edges of my patience with people sending me forwarded messages that I find meaningless - or worse - offensive. Maybe I don't want to be told that something is hilarious only to find that our definitions of hilarious are vastly different. Below is the response I wrote to her this morning.


With all due respect to my respected cousin - I cannot receive a blonde joke (or any other joke that systematically stereotypes) and let it pass by with no reaction.

I am spiritually and politically opposed to oppression in any form. So while I fully support your efforts to spread mirth, I want you to know that this joke was not hilarious to me. Not that the mixing of 710 and OIL isn't mildly amusing - it is. It is the perpetuation of a single stereotype and the real-life negative implications that those stereotypes represent for real people that I find hard to digest. One might say - can't I take a joke? Anyone who knows me, knows that I can. I just say to anyone who continues to spread "blonde jokes" -please have a little compassion for our blonde sisters (not all - but surely too many) who are targets of discrimination, teasing, rape, assumptions and ill-treatment due to hair color.

From Wikipedia:

In the US media and in culture, blonde women are often portrayed as "promiscuous." Because of this, many believe that blondes "have more fun." Blonde jokes are a class of jokes based on a "dumb blonde" stereotype of blonde women (or rarely, blonde men) being unintelligent, sexually promiscuous, or both.

Many blonde jokes are simply variations on other racist jokes, sometimes adapted to make them less offensive. Blonde jokes nearly always take the format of the blonde placing herself in a situation or making a comment that serves to highlight her supposed promiscuity and/or lack of intelligence. Like all humor based on stereotypes, blonde jokes may be found offensive by many people, not limited to their target.

Blonde jokes have been criticized as sexist* by several authors. Research shows that men find blonde jokes significantly more amusing than women do.

*Sexism is commonly considered to be discrimination and/or hatred towards people based on their sex rather than their individual merits, but can also refer to any and all systemic differentiations based on the sex of the individuals.

Please accept my reaction with the love and care that it is intended. How can we each change the world unless we make a stand when we feel that it is the right thing to do? If we continue to perpetuate sexist stereotypes and cannot even see how it genuinely hurts other women down the line - how can we ever expect to reverse it? While some (most?) of the people on this list might not consider themselves feminists - I'm just going to go on the assumption that everyone on this list would hope that their mother/ sister/ daughter/ wife / self would be treated fairly in employment, education, relationships, etc. That is all feminism is.

The very best to you, cousin. I know that the work you do will empower women to take control and that is what I am doing - with love, love love - Cousin V


Unlike the above Lampoon image of how women communicate, I received a very gracious acknowledgment from my cousin for which I am very grateful.