V's Version

This is my father, Gordon, standing in the doorway of

a. the guest cottage

b. the garden shed

c. Brook's cabin

d. the storage garage

or

e. all of the above

His visit with his partner Gini was pretty packed. Redwoods, tide pools, gardening, San Francisco. I'm still reeling from the complexity of our father / daughter relationship. During every stage of my life, we have challenged each other. For the most part, I truly appreciate these challenges on many levels. Although I have to admit that the appreciation is only in retrospect sometimes, this trip gave me many opportunities for immediate appreciation. Who but a parent can offer rich lessons, showing both mirrors of myself and examples of the well-trodden paths of family legacy? Who but a parent can bring such joy and cause so much pain? Who can be so close that it hurts?

Having family connection is nearly the highest value that I have as I walk this life. If I was ambivalent about this, my life would be completely different. But this is how it is for me. I am compelled (through great odds) to stay connected to my family and to grow and learn how to better connect with them. It is something of a mix between obsession and spiritual practice and masochism. Family is the most accessible unit from which to change the world. In my heart, I believe that it is my only shot at making a difference.

Well - maybe there is art.

But family connection and the deep intense honesty and communication that it takes to be authentic in a family is what drives my soul. It's humbling in the most basic way to realize how little time I have to do this work and how much I have yet to learn.

Labels: family NVC communication connection authentic