Friday, January 11, 2008
Below is the way condensed (and, in my opinion, way downplayed) public version - in her own words - of what happened to a dear, dear friend of ours. You may have met her at Michfest last year - or here in Santa Cruz. And then is my attempt at coping with this event. I have not been able to sleep easily - I have not been able to shake my worry. This woman is one of the increasingly small group of butches who have chosen to keep their women's bodies. That she should be injured (her soul as much - if not more - as her fractured skull) is frightening to me on so many levels. Keep her in your hearts, please.
The Incident
So I am sure a lot of you already know and a lot more are wondering what the hell happened. Here is the Reader's Digest version:
Myself and 4 other friends were involved in what became a hate crime incident in San Francisco on Saturday Night/Sunday Morning. We were leaving a club and were involved in an altercation between the 5 of us and 4 men who had said a number of offensive and inappropriate things to us while leaving the club. We were assaulted and I was hit with a Patron Tequila bottle on the side of the head. We all had a number of scrapes and bruises and I have a minor skull fracture behind my left eye and a very purple ear, however there were no other serious injuries.
Two of the 4 men were apprehended and are being held on multiple counts of assault and hate crimes. The one who hit me with the bottle is being charged with assault with a deadly weapon. I was admitted to the emergency room and after a number of uncomfortable hours was released with no serious injuries.
I have decided to move forward with pressing charges and am willing to admit I am scared, but know it is the right thing to do. WE ARE ALL SAFE AND HEALTHY. I am putting this out because as the story trickles through the grape vine it grows and I want everyone to know we are well and although shaken and with damaged spirits we are doing very well and are probably all a lot closer as a result.
I ask that you keep us in your prayers and in your thoughts as we move through our own healing that is beyond the bruises, its now about healing our sense of safety and vulnerability and about gathering the strength to move forward with the incident.
Thank you for all of the support, you are all beautiful and I appreciate you beyond measure.
---L.
Fumbling around to find words to heal hurts
Words without fuss in the language of us
But the letters are churning and my eyes are burning
Donning Amazon armor and rushing to wage war
Knowing that the keyboard is mightier than the sword.
Poetry is my weapon of choice – giving anger and terror and sorrow a voice.
Words hurling - syllables swirling
Wanting to both protect and attack -
Fight back in this crazy game of sticks and stones
And fractured bones.
Fierce femme – fierce friend
Holding out a safe space for you
A quiet place for you
to talk or say nothing or just be a fool.
It’s a muddled mix of how and why –
Evil deeds and circumstance and it’s OK to cry –
A family hero fallen - hauled up by her tribe
A butch body shaken - holding shards of pride.
Poetry is prayer in the lexicon of love
But it doesn’t fix wrongs and no dilemmas are solved.
Phrases like “a quilt to wrap the soul”
Fly from my fingers as I try to cope-
Hoping that you can take shattered remains
And, in safety, slowly make them whole.
How can I be that kind of quilter?
Fierce femme – fierce friend
No way to avenge -
And how would vengeance alter our vulnerability anyway?
On the high road – with a compassionate heart is how I will stay.
“We are all worthy. We are all one.”
This cannot be undone.
Helpless to alter the past –
Here now offering ears and heart and arms outcast.
Moving on will go at a pace all it’s own
You just have to know that you don’t have to heal alone.
- V Kingsley, 2008
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It’s all I can do. Use words and offer a home.
I’m so grateful that I am just one person in your tribe and that you have many loving arms – many loving and safe places to find refuge. Please use all the resources available to you at your own pace. Team Go-Go is with you every step of the way in any way you want us. We love you very much.
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Labels: hate crime survivor homophobia assault victim recovery compassion
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