V's Version

Certain people in my life have probably never heard of Catherine Crouch and her film Gendercator. (Sci Fi short about an andro hippie dyke in the 1970s who parties after the Billy Jean King win over Bobby Riggs, passes out under a tree (a la Rip Van Winkle) and wakes up to find surprising changes in gender norms 100 years later). Some people in my life have probably heard more than they ever want to hear about the controversy surrounding the Bay Area Reporter article and the removal of the film from the Frameline LGBT Film Festival here in San Francisco.

And I just got a voicemail - was it pulled from MWMF Festival too?

I am hardly at the forefront of gender politics but I am somewhere close to the front - closer than a lot of people. And I feel a little lost in the storm. I've been having conversations with various friends about the subject for many reasons and over many years. It is a huge relief to be able to identify my partner as transgendered so that the natural swing between male and female (the "other" box) is more easily spoken of by us as a family. I find that just using the framework of "trans" is liberating and empowering and it feels light and authentic (Dani appreciates being able to identify herself in this way because it helps name her in the world.) My wife is my Daddy and she is a boi and a butch dyke and he is nurturing and she is capable and although she is handsome, he is always being called cute. So we say that she prefers "Mr. Cute"! If you can flow with this - welcome to our world! It is not confusing unless the world is all or nothing, black or white, male or female. (And is most definitely is not. ) We are always evolving and changing. It takes courage to be this free.

I supported my ex-partner in his FTM transition in every possible way. I backed him in theory, I backed him in practice and language. I backed his gender as a parent, as a person, as a friend - even though I didn't always understand the pace of his decisions.

I recently met a woman who considers herself FTMTF. She - like almost every other butch or andro dyke under the age of 30 that I know - considered transitioning. She - unlike an increasing number of her peers - decided that she wanted to embrace her body as it is and to work on demanding that the world accept her as she is - in the box called "other" where she can float between male and female without surgery. She does not have many role models left and why can't we talk about / have anxiety about / question this reality? Why? Her name is Lex and she writes powerful poetry (I'll get a link when I can.)

[[[ aside: Dani and I are trying to raise money to get her to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival. (Let me know if you want to help.) I would LOVE to hear her perform at an open mic there! Shout out to Nedra, Mel, Frances, Pat and Lee for stepping up right away. ]]]

But anyway - all these bumps into gender politics have me thinking. I don't know what to say - I love the transmen that I know - I support their decisions to have or not have surgery as personal decisions - just like I would support someone's personal decision to have or not have an abortion or whether or not to take chemo or to have plastic surgery or Gastric Bypass surgery. These are personal decisions based on changes (some would say advances) in medical procedures that are more widely available and acceptable. And who am I to legislate life and death, body image and health? Who am I to set the moral bar?

But there is a moral imperative here. Freedom of expression. Freedom of being. And medical ethics. The rate of increased numbers of people using these medical procedures is astonishing. I truly am perplexed and don't feel comfortable. Maybe my grandmother feels this way about computers. Maybe her grandmother felt that way about electricity. Maybe her grandmother felt that way about machines. The pace of change is upsetting to me and I want to catch my breath long enough to ask - is this what we want? Is this OK?

Just because C-sections are available does not make them the best option in all birthing situations. Just because a smaller stomach and liposuction might take pressure off the heart and the kness does not make it the best path to overall health. But would I put anyone down for having one of these medical procedures? Far be it from me! My problem is with the pressure - the unbelievable pressure - to have C-sections, gender reassignment surgery, stomach stapling, tummy tucks, abortions and implants. Why can't we examine that pressure right alongside the examination of trans discrimination, size discrimination, sex education and the implications of intervention in birthing?

It's not a question of whether it is OK to transition genders. It's a question of whether it's OK NOT to transition.

This is not a subject that is going to float easily by. This is one of the dilemnas of our lifetime (along with global climate change and access to clean water and finding our paths to peace.) I cannot hide from the conversation but I don't really know how to proceed.
.
.
.

Labels: transgendered inclusion lesbian feminist misogyny medical ethics birthing size discrimination boi trans politics michigan womyn's music festival